Sunday, January 06, 2008

My Confession

Wow!!! Time has really flown lately. Our family is going to be so busy for the next few months. Lots of activities happenin'. It's so easy to get lost in the frenzy of the urgent and forget about or ignore the important. I am guilty of not making time for anyone else. I justify this sin of selfishness and pride because, after all, these things NEED to be done. They are IMPORTANT things. If I don't do them, they won't get done.

This morning, God showed me anew just how wicked my sin is and how it affects so many other people. I'm not an island. I don't live on a mountaintop, away from humanity. I have neglected my church family because it wasn't convenient or comfortable to temporarily step away from my creature comforts. I couldn't be bothered to call or email my hurting friend. I tried to make it sound like I was being considerate. You know the excuses I'm talking about:

"She's busy."
"Now's probably not a good time."
"She has a lot on her mind."
"She doesn't need me. She has lots of people to talk to."

All of those sound like I'm being a thoughtful, good friend, huh? I thought so too until God held the mirror of the Gospel in front of my face and made me look.

The truth is that I wasn't put here to be comfortable. My purpose for existing is not so I can check the items off of my list. I was not created for this world. My purpose, my reason for being is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. MOST OF THE TIME, THIS WILL MEAN STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORTABLE BUBBLE!!! I have built a cocoon for myself that does NOT glorify God. When I am working on fortifying my comfy little nest, I am not enjoying God. I'm trying to enjoy Kim and Kim's works and Kim's righteousness. In that instant, God is nowhere in the realm of my thoughts or desires. Oh, how horrible that looks in black and white in front of my eyes!!

God, thank you for choosing me and loving me when I was Your enemy. Thank you for saving me from my own depravity and restoring me to Yourself. Thank you for forgiving me when I love myself more than anyone else. Thank you for the peace and rest I have in You. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I've given up on myself. Thank you, Abba (Daddy), for your Son's saving work for me. I love you.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

I really like what you said about enjoying your own righteousness and your own works. For me, I work so hard to try to enjoy fortifying myself. But I'm never happy until I glorify God. Yet, I gravitate to my own "comfortable bubble" first when I should be running to Jesus. You are so dead on when you talk about that uncomfortable feeling of seeing it in black and white. I love you Kim, I thank you for posting this today.

Missy said...

Great reminders girl!
It's easy to stop glorifying and enjoying God when we are so wrapped up in doing the same to ourselves!
Thanks for the encouragment.
Oh, and by the way...I always appreciate the encouraging words you leave me :)