Monday, November 07, 2005

Our God Is A Great Big God.

I am very melancholy tonight. Dad is supposed to have his elbow surgery on Friday. He went to the doctor today for a check-up, and the doctor found a potentially serious problem. Now he has to go to the doctor again tomorrow for more tests.

We have a young mother at our church who is dying of cancer. Her teenage daughter is in a class with me. All I can think about is how that mother is probably worried about dying and leaving her kids. I feel for the daughter because of losing Mom not that long ago.

I just feel very thoughtful and subdued right now. It's really hard for me to sit back and trust that God has it all under control. Sometimes I look around and wonder what God's plan is. How is this crushing pain what is best for me? Why did my Mama have to die? Why is Dad's life so hard sometimes?

On the other hand, the Holy Spirit in me prompts me to trust that my Abba, my Omniscient Father, has only the best in mind for us, His kids. It is sooooo comforting that when I'm scared, when my heart is breaking over what seems so pointless, my Creator has a Plan. We are not alone like we feel. He has promised to never leave us, to not forget us. The same God who put the stars into place in the sky knew my name. As He made the first light fall on the Earth, He already knew how long I would live. When Jesus was hanging on the cross and said it was finished, He had me in mind. How can I possibly feel alone when I remember all that He's done for ME?

Please pray for each other. Encourage each other. I'm pretty sure that anyone around me today didn't see my pain, my grief. Often we hide our pain from others, from people who would gladly comfort us if they knew we needed it. Love each other even when it all looks okay from the outside. Take the time to step outside of yourselves, out of your busy lives, and really see the people around you. God will reveal their need to you.

2 comments:

Leslie said...

I know this sounds silly, but it's the times when I fail to realize our God is a great big God, that I REALLY realize He IS! When I don't think He is big enough to handle it, He shows me just how wrong I am! Just remember you are loved!

Jawan said...

I'm praying for your father's test results, Kimmi!