Tissue Issues

Okay. Crissy has blogged, and I feel that I must respond.

Apparently, Kim H and I are at opposite ends of the toilet paper spectrum. She buys the inexpensive stuff in bulk and in anger. Maybe she's angry because she's chafed or has "fuzzies." Just something to ponder.

I also buy in bulk. However, this does not make me angry. Instead, it comforts me to know that I will never run out of my favorite bathroom staple. It is necessary to me to have plenty of my toilet paper in order to do what I must with a sense of comfort and security.

My favorite brand is so important to me that I always keep a roll in my van. I travel with it in my suitcase, traincase, or bookbag. I make sure that it is near in case of tissue emergencies. I have a hard time using other brands.

I don't like the wax paper kind or the sand paper type either. It must be strong but soft, absorbent but thick, 2-ply but also quilted. I am not loyal to a brand in a lot of areas, but when it comes to toilet paper, brand is everything.

I once heard a comedian say that when he was broke and had hardly any food, he knew life was going to be okay because he had good toilet paper. I totally understand that. Pay the little bit extra, and get the good stuff. Think of all the sh** your rear has to put up with. We sit on it constantly, talk about it meanly, blame ill-fitting clothes on it. Our rears tolerate a lot. We owe it to them to buy the good stuff.